By Eileen Benthal
RiverheadLOCAL Nov 27, 2022, 7:05 am
Gratitude is good for the soul.
While it is true that we may disagree on the definition of the soul, almost every person acknowledges an inner sense of being that goes deeper than our psyche. We may sometimes refer to the soul as the heart or intuitive nature.
However we refer to this interior nature, common sense and experience shows us that gratitude can elevate our sense of well-being and change our outlook on life.
I read this quote recently by Melodie Beattie, a popular author/speaker who is an expert in the area of self-help and healing co-dependent behaviors through self-care:
“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
Beattie’s explanation of how gratitude affects our lives reads more like a prescription than a description — precisely because it can change our outlook on life.
The old adage of “viewing the world through rose-colored glasses” comes to mind, but gratitude is more than this. Gratitude doesn’t cover up the reality by glossing over it; it changes our focus away from the negative to the positive. Oftentimes when we focus on something to be grateful for- it changes our perspective on the things we find difficult.
In keeping with Beattie’s description above, gratitude is seen as a tool to affect change in our attitudes and oftentimes in our circumstances. It changes and transforms negative experiences into opportunities for growth and healing.
I have definitely found this to be true in my own life. When I focus on problems and difficulties, my responses tend to be rooted in anxiety. But when I focus on the blessings in my life, it changes my attitude and strengthens my resolve to change the things I can. Where gratitude flows, creativity follows.
These words from the Bible challenge me: “..give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
Finding something to be grateful for is easier for some and possible for all. But giving thanks in all circumstances can appear near to impossible when we are faced with trials in our life.
I have often reflected on this challenge from scripture to give thanks in all circumstances and how it affects our daily life. We have spent many holidays in the hospital in the years since my daughter was born. In those seasons, it was hard on the whole family to find ways to find gratitude in our struggles and celebrate the holidays with hope. But some of our best Thanksgivings have been spent in the hospital with families like ourselves who were caring for children with life-threatening illnesses and disease.
Gratitude flowed not from the trying circumstances but from the care and kindness shown between strangers who could become friends.
The past two years have been a challenge beyond comparison for all of us. COVID changed the way many of us celebrated the holidays. At our home, hospitalizations complicated the holidays even more.
Armed with the experience of how gratitude changes our outlook on life and circumstances, we began a tradition last year with other individuals and families like our own. We started hosting “Friendsgiving” with our Johanna’s Hope participants. These last two years of celebrating with our special friends has taught me more about being grateful in all circumstances.
Some of our friends live in group homes, some at home with their families. All of them have faced challenges in their lives that are unique to people living with developmental disabilities and medical issues. A few of our friends require assistance walking and with daily tasks for independence.
But after spending time together these past 15 months and entering into celebrating our second holiday season, there is one thing that inspires me the most: the gratitude and joy shared among these friends.
I know the challenges these individuals face for inclusion and simply to live a daily life that most of us take for granted. The cognitive, physical and emotional challenges are great and the support needed for basic needs is often dependent on government programs. It’s a lot.
While seated at our extended tables decorated for Thanksgiving, gratitude flowed. Our friends shared what they were grateful for — mostly the simple things — right before our eyes. They were grateful for family and friends and for the time we share together at Johanna’s Hope.
As I looked around the table and milled around with our friends who now had become like extended family, a distant memory played in the back of mind. I recalled sitting in the darkened hospital room praying beside my infant daughter who was scheduled for one of the first of many brain surgeries.
I recall asking the Lord to show me His plan in this chaos and I randomly opened my Bible to 2 Corinthians 4 as my eyes fell upon the title, “Treasure in Earthen Vessels.” This chapter speaks of hardships and difficulties and the grace which accompanies these as we offer them to the Lord. I somehow knew then that this chapter tucked away in the midst of the New Testament was not just a momentary inspiration for a grieving mother, but rather it was a living map to guide us on a journey which would span the rest of my daughter’s life.
Even today, this scripture speaks to my heart. I’ve reflected on this scripture many times throughout the past 26 years. Now, at this special “Friendsgiving,” one verse from that same chapter repeated in the back of my mind as I experienced the love and gratitude flowing freely among friends.
“All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.” 2 Corinthians 4:15
It is truly possibly to give thanks in all things — even sufferings and difficulties — for out these things gratitude and blessings overflow to touch many hearts.
See more “Friendsgiving” photos from Johanna’s Hope on Instagram.